Friday, July 9, 2010

Top 10 Most Annoying Facebook-ers

This is a comprehensive list of the most annoying Facebook users and their outrageously obnoxious behaviors. If you are a habitual violator of any of the following, stop immediately or risk being reported to the Facebook police.

10.) People who partake in the interactive/activity statuses. For example:
"Like my status and I'll rate how good you look on a scale of 1-10"
Really?

9.) People who post endless pictures of themselves playing tonsil-hockey with their boo. That's gross. I'm not jealous or happy for you; I'm simply disgusted.

8.) People who use their statuses to shout out to other people. For example:
Jane Doe loves her gurls, Mary Smith and Anne Johnson!
Jane Doe loves her boyfriend John Adams so much!
If you really want them to know this, text them or call them. Do not write it on their wall because it will then just blow up my News Feed.

7.) People who are mad at the world and everyone in it and use their statuses to let this be known. For example:
John Man, f*ck all this. I give up! I'm better than this bullsh*t.
Please stop being vulgar, and STOP WHINING.

6.) People who use their statuses to reveal only trivial nonsense. For example:
Jane is in class.
Bob is asleep.
Jim is in the car.
Thank you for informing me. I don't know how my life would have gone on without that little gem.

5.) People whose wall-to-wall's resemble/substitute texting. For example:
Jane -> John: Baby, I love you so much. I'm so glad we got to hang out last night. Thank you for being the most amazing boyfriend ever! I LOVE YOU.
John -> Jane: Baby, I love you more. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. You complete me.
This is also disgusting and obnoxious. I would almost rather see pictures of you kissing.

4.) Those people who "like" everything. (And the people who create these ridiculous pages for others to like.) Here are some real examples:
Mike likes: that protective feeling over a friend you adore :)
You probably won't remember half of the things I never forget (Pleast stop being a Drama Queen)
Long, soft, slow, breath-taking kisses
Not having STD's (You're human. Of course, you like not having STD's. Stop being pointless.)

I have a friend who has literally "liked" 1062 pages. This is strange.

3.) People who take pictures of themselves in front of a mirror. You look pathetic.

2.) Boys who take pictures of themselves in the mirror without wearing a shirt. Thank you for letting me know that you are a douche-bag without me actually having to speak to you.

1.) People who use their statuses as diaries/journals. For example:
Susan is really upset and stressed because she has nothing to wear and her mother won't stop nagging her and she has so much homework and she is so tired.

Number 1.) That's a run-on sentence.
Number 2.) Stop whining. You sound pathetic.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

In Recent News...

Top News for the week:

According to the artist formerly known as Prince, "the internet is dead." Sorry, Prince, not until Obama gets that "kill switch."

Oil is still leaking in the Gulf. Hurricanes and tropical storms are still forming in the Gulf. A.K.A. Recipe for disaster. Thanks, BP and the government. Job well done.

Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. Surprise, surprise. Maybe she'll stay there?

LeBron is going to Miami. Sweeeeeet. How about we all just jump on the Miami bandwagon?

Miley is still skanky.

It's still freakin' hot here in Georgia.

In California, a couple tried to sell their baby at Wal-Mart for the discount price of $25. They were eventually rid of their child, but they did not receive $25 - just a hefty lawsuit and a nice big pile of public humiliation.

Apparently, UGA athletes(and those involved in UGA athletics) just can't stay away from the booze. Good going, Mr. Evans.

In more exciting news:

I got a dog/new best friend. Ellie is her name; lovin' is her game.




Monday, July 5, 2010

Your Definately To Bad at Grammer Too Be Taken Seriously

If you are in high school or have graduated high school, you have most likely taken a few basic English courses throughout your life. Now, assuming you did not sleep through these required courses, you should have been exposed to the basic rules of grammar and spelling to ensure that you do not embarrass yourself with your lack of writing skills later in life. Apparently, these courses were also given to ensure that you may communicate effectively with other people.

After much observation, however, it seems that most people over the age of 15 have forgotten almost everything that they ever learned about grammar. So, to refresh their memories, I have compiled a list of the most vile grammar infractions that the English-speaking world has ever known.

*The word is "definitely" - not definately, defiantly, etc. In fact, there is no "a" in the word at all. So, stop putting one in it.

*Too, To, & Two: It really isn't that difficult. Two = 2. (I definitely have two eyes.)
Too = adverb. (I definitely have too much time on my hands.)
To = mostly used as a preposition (I am definitely going to the movies tonight.); also used to indicate that the following verb is an infinitive (I cannot wait to go to the movies tonight.)

*Your vs. You're: This is quite simple. You're: (contraction) You + Are (You're definitely the worst speller I've ever met.)
Your: indicates something belongs to "you," whoever "you" is. (Your spelling is the worst I've ever seen.)

*There, Their, & They're: This one is a little bit more tricky.
Their: shows possession (I hope their house doesn't flood.)
They're: (contraction) They + Are (They're the coolest people I know.)
There: This one covers everything else. (I have seen that sign over there before. Let's go there for our next vacation.)

*A lot. "A lot" = two words.

*Than vs. Then: Yes, this is confusing, but it is not impossible.
Than: *I am two years older than you are.
*I would rather sleep in my bed than sleep in a tent.
Then: *If you are a slow learner, then you should take notes.
*He had a wreck two years ago. Since then, he's been driving more carefully.

*Fewer vs. Less: Fewer is used to refer to things that can be counted. (M&M's, cows, eyes, cars, etc.) Example: I have fewer shoes than you have.
Less is used to refer to something that cannot be counted. (gas, memory, power, etc.) Example: I have less fear than you have.

*Its vs. It's: It's = It + is (It's cold outside.)
Its = to show possession/ownership (Its home is in Georgia.)

These are just a few of the horrible grammar and spelling mistakes that I see quite frequently. If you commit any of these grammar crimes, you will be judged.