Anyone who knows me knows that I have some very crazy dreams. In fact, if a sleep study were ever done on me, I'd say that some pretty incredible results would show up, not to brag. I had a dream last weekend, though, that even I found a little troubling and insane. Enjoy.
So, I never remember exactly how a dream starts, and I don't think I'm alone on that one. The first thing I remember, though, is playing soccer with my high school soccer team. We were all out on the field playing a very well-known team who has been undefeated since soccer was invented. Anyway, it was back to senior year, and the other team got a corner kick. Anyone who watched or participated in my senior year of soccer knows that my team was downright horrendous at defending corner kicks. I look up and, much to my dismay, the opposing team has their ENTIRE team on the field during this corner kick. We have only eleven players. Now, I'm not the best at math, and STAT2000 nearly made me kill myself this semester, but I could recognize that 11 vs. 5 million was an issue for concern. I thus take to screaming at every teammate to tell them where they need to be to defend this corner kick successfully. They all looked at me as if I were speaking that crazy language of the Na'vi on Pandora in the movie Avatar. Somehow, by the grace of God, I'm sure, we managed to defend the corner kick. I am absolutely livid at everyone's failure to act, so naturally, I start screaming my head off at everyone to let them know how useless they are.
The next thing I know I am in my bedroom in my house at school. I have just been informed that I will be "guest-punting," as it was called in my dream, in the next UGA football game, which just happens to be the next day, which also, in my dream, happens to be my birthday. Apparently, Drew Butler was totally fine with this development, and while I found it odd that I would have been chosen for such a task, I decided to rummage around in my closet and dig out my old soccer cleats. I then concluded that someone must have seen my performance in the soccer game I have just described and decided that I was an appropriate substitute punter. I then frantically begin to wonder if I will be supplied with a uniform and pads and football pants or if I should bring my own football wear. I decide to bring my ever-reliable Nike Tempo running shorts (because these are obviously appropriate for a guest appearance in a televised college football game).
Somehow, I end up in an apartment that I have never seen before in my life. All three friends of mine are there, and I am apparently setting up for my birthday festivities. More people begin to show up, and I decide to bring out the Chick-fil-A nugget tray that I had for the occasion (oddly similar to my real-life birthday party this year). All of a sudden, I remember I absolutely must go to my old dorm and get something out of my room. I promptly leave the apartment and sprint over to the dorm, which, in my dream, is now conveniently located right next to this mysterious apartment complex and Sanford Stadium. I finally arrive at my old room only to realize that I don't have my key because I moved out 6 months earlier (duh). I then decide it would be a good idea to run back to the apartment. Upon my arrival, however, I realize I have to also run by the stadium for some pre-game top-secret business. I finally get to the stadium only to forget why I had come, so I decide it's time to run back to the apartment. Please, for entertainment's sake, keep in mind that I have been sprinting this entire time. Anyway, I am running back to the apartment, and I keep seeing people from high school (classmates, teachers, etc.). They all proceed to tell me how great my hair looks flapping wildly in the wind. I am certainly confused, but I continue on my quest.
I finally arrive at the apartment to find only my sister and one of my roommates left. Everyone else had bailed to go to the game. This doesn't trouble me as badly as the fact that all my nuggets are gone. I get really and truly upset that my moocher friends have ravenously scarfed down all my nuggets, so I sit down on the couch and do the only thing left I know to do. I pout. My sister proceeds to ask me what is wrong, so I let her know that I'm pissed that all my nuggets are gone. She then decides to pull out the 6 chicken nuggets she hid under the couch cushion. Touched by her kindness and dumbfounded by her idiocy, I take the nuggets and proceed to wash them off in the sink. Problem solved. I go back to sit on the couch, and my sister says, "I'm glad you're in a better mood."
"Um, what?" I so eloquently respond.
"Yeah, you got pissed earlier because Alex (my roommate) made fun of your skin," my sister tells me.
Dream Heidi thinks this is a perfectly good reason to be angry at someone, especially with my skin insecurities, but before I can protest, I find myself in Belk with my sister and roommate. My sister and roommate are trying on shoes, when my sister decides to tell my roommate that she is her "number 2."
I get super offended by this because I know that my sister's boyfriend must be her "number 1," thus I am only "number 3" in the best-case-scenario. I am fuming, so I storm off into the socks section, and a friend from high school appears. I tell her the treason that my sister has just committed, and she replies with an ever-so-helpful "people suck."
I decide I will just go purchase my socks and leave. I make my way to the register where there is a display of beautiful rings. These aren't cheap, costume jewelry cocktail rings. There are diamonds and rubies and sapphires, and I am positively mesmerized. The cashier informs me that I can have one of the rings. She tells me I get one free with my purchase, and then I'm all, "Lady, I just bought socks. This is a diamond ring."
She is aware and still lets me pick out a ring. I try on several and finally decide on a platinum band with a sapphire stone. I am about to leave the counter when the lady informs me that I have forgotten to take off one of the rings I was trying on, and, silly me, I had. I take off the ring and am on my merry way. I step out of the store and look down, and, much to my surprise, the ring I had just taken off is back on my finger! I rush back into the store to return the ring, and the cashier says jokingly, "Oh, were you trying to steal that ring?"
I think to myself, "Since it was free, no. And had I been trying, I would have succeeded because I had already made it out the door to freedom."
Before I can respond, though, I hear a man's voice behind me. I turn around and what do my eyes behold?? Jesus. Yep. Jesus Christ himself. Did my eyes deceive me? Nope. It was he. And Jesus had apparently gotten hooked up with the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy because he was wearing some stylish jeans and a V-neck t-shirt. I notice that his head is literally glowing. I guess when you're Jesus, your head turns into its own halo.
I am absolutely at a loss for words, but that's okay because Jesus has some for me. He says, "Heidi, I know you're going through a rough time right now, but just have faith, and everything will be okay. Just trust."
I immediately hit the floor and start bawling.
Then, I woke up.
I'm not sure what all that dream meant, but I do know that God wants me to keep on keepin' on, and he sent his son to tell me in a dream.
P.S. The name of this post is also the name of an Everly Brothers song. It's a good one. It was #141 on Rolling Stone's "500 Greatest Songs of All Time."
